All those long rehearsals, the times you had to admit defeat and ask for ‘line’, the moment where you finally felt a yourself click and connect with your character all lead up to this one, pivotal moment.
You stand in the wings awaiting your cue and you feel a rush come over you like you’re on fire but everything around you is ice cold. It is a feeling like no other. Suddenly you take yourself back to the last rehearsal and remind yourself that you know your lines; you’ve done it all before. But still, nothing prepares you for the moment you finally walk on that stage, as someone else. A person who may be very similar to you, or your polar opposite. As an actor you have found what makes your character tick, why they are surrounding themselves with the people they do and what their relationship is with every person in the room that they are about to walk into.
Finally, the moment comes, it’s your time. You pray you won’t fall over in the heels you spent hours practicing at home in, or the new shoes the head of costume said worked perfectly with your costume. Which you agree with, but you still have the fear you will land flat on your face. Taking that final deep breath of air you feel tiny butterflies inhabit the pit of your stomach. You breathe out and they disappear, only to be replaced with a rush of adrenaline.
All of a sudden you can relate to the time Bambi took his first steps on ice and you remind yourself that you can do this. It’s almost like you are watching yourself move and walk onto the stage, you don’t even feel like you’re moving. But then a sense of calm settles you and you begin the performance.
The lights are so bright you can barley see the audience but you feel everyone’s eyes focusing on you. It somehow feels normal. That’s what I feel. Every time I walk onto that stage, I am home. It may be the first show of the week, the last or the one smack dab in the middle. I never stop feeling all these crazy emotions, the butterflies, adrenaline, complete and utter fear or making a complete fool of myself. It reminds me of why I have a dream of being an actress. Not only that but it also makes me believe that in fact my dream isn’t as unachievable as some make it out to be.
‘‘Nothing is impossible, the word itself says I’m possible’’
– Audrey Hepburn.